Presence practice

At any moment, taking a few breaths can relax us. Sometimes though, we use these breaths to try to force ourselves from tension to relaxation, and then we’re disappointed in the process — still tense, still stressed. We missed a pivotal step: awareness and acceptance of what’s actually happening. Ironically, a gentle exploration using three […]

The paradox and promise of being with ‘what’s so’

A dear friend asked me woefully: “How can I keep being in the moment and still do the big open-ended future things that I care about and meet the goals I think will give me a sense of meaning and value?” This post is a letter to him. I’ve been with this question for over […]

Transforming compulsive behaviors and thoughts

In this episode of What Women Want to Talk About, Susan Strasburger, PhD, and host Kelly Orchard discuss how to shift from compulsive behaviors and thoughts to having more choice and freedom: 5 signs that you might be heading towards compulsive behaviors or thoughts 5 things you can do in the moment to prevent or […]

What is our response-ability in relationship?

Two women were discussing recent experiences with their ex-partners: One had wanted her partner to be able to see that she had ‘turned a corner’ in relationship to him, and felt frustrated that he engaged with her as if she hadn’t changed. The other woman was confused by her partner’s actions, and “wished he’d been […]

Courageous action in the face of fear

M. contacted me through an offer for ‘cyber-counseling’ – an experiment to see if a brief internet exchange might empower new insight and action. Below, you’ll see the touching results. Yaye, M.! M: “I go to a community club. A friend from there comes to my house and gossips constantly about the people at the […]

Body NVC

This morning I lay in bed, flooded with unbidden thoughts and feelings about a friend’s current health crisis. This was not the meditative start to my day that I had planned! Fortunately, I called on my Body NVC practice to help return me to equanimity: My arms started to make small, then larger circles; my […]

Peace and paradox: resolving inner conflict

“Peace….is the willingness to acknowledge that conflict will always exist, but it is how we handle it that matters” – Kindle Project Blog, April 2011 The how of living with, and moving through, conflict is what I have dedicated my life to – from high school civil rights activism to decades of organizational consulting, leadership […]

Finding peace after 25 years

It’s a lazy summer day in New Haven, hot and sticky. I’m both excited and scared at the possibility of starting college here at Yale in the fall. I sit on the warm grass, and my heart swells, hoping that I’m embarking on a wonderful new adventure. Less than one year later, I’m walking past […]